Not So Easy
by Jen89
Summary: Leaving was easy. Much easier than she had expected. It was staying away that was the hard part. Trying to pretend that she had, or even could, move on. Cameron's story from when she leaves House in series one until she is persuaded to return.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own House M.D. or its characters. The recognisable dialogue is from the end of 'Role Model' in series one.

_This is going to be a short story set in series one. I have it planned out and I think it will be about three chapters, possibly four. Told from Cameron's point of view when she leaves House. Hope you enjoy it.  
_

_Jenny_

Not So Easy.

Chapter One.

Walking away had, all things considered, been far easier than she had anticipated. It had been the build up that had been most nerve-wracking, the driving to his place, standing outside of his door listening to the faint sounds of him playing the piano for ten minutes before forcing her knuckles to rap on the door loud enough to bring him to answer.

The door opened and he was there, staring at her for a second before stepping aside to let her enter, an air of defeat hanging heavily around him. Maybe he knew why she was here, maybe he knew her so well that this had been inevitable to him from the moment she stepped into his office the first time. Maybe the truth of what he had done tonight and the repercussions it could have for the whole of the Diagnostics department had just begin to hit him. Whatever the reason, he looked beaten and it was uncomfortable for her to witness. Instead she looked around at the wide open space of the living room. Her eyes fell on the piano to her left. The faint noises she had heard through the door were enough to tell her that he played beautifully and she stared at the keys, imagining his fingers dancing across them.

It was surprising how clean the place was. Nothing out of place, nothing lying on the floor and the coffee table was bare and dust free. Based on her knowledge of the state of his office drawers (drawers that she had spent hours organising for the sake of her own sanity) she expected all the clutter was hidden away somewhere, possibly in the cabinet by the door or piled in the closet.

This assessment took no time at all and soon she had no choice but to force her eyes to meet his... and she froze.

His blue eyes always looked right through her, as if he could read every thought in her head and she was unable to speak, to break the silence. He had no such problem.

"I'm sorry," House said. "I should have taken an extra couple of Vicodin and just held my nose."

"I'm guessing you did take a couple of extra Vicodin," Cameron replied, and her mind shot back to how he had looked on that podium, out of place in that suit that was just so not like him. She had been able to tell the moment he had made up his mind not to go through with it. She should have been surprised that he had shown up at all.

"True."

Cameron looked at him; at the tall, blue eyed man before her. House was clever. He was a _genius. _He knew why she was here already. That, more than anything else, gave her the strength to say it. "You don't need to worry about firing anyone. I'm leaving."

There. She'd said it. She couldn't take it back.

The words reverberated around the room and she managed to contain her wince when they hit her eardrums only because they sounded so surreal. After all, people didn't just _leave _Gregory House without an excellent reason.

All the stories about him were spoken in lowered, awed tones. People listened enthralled, they moved halfway across the country in the hopes of getting one of those coveted jobs in his department, they attended interviews competitively. If they were lucky enough to get one of these jobs, they stayed until they were fired, or the door to the next stage of their career was opened, or they were driven completely crazy.

Or, in the case of a woman named Allison Cameron from Omaha, Nebraska, until she fell in love with the insufferable man and left before her heart could be totally shattered.

This reason wouldn't really be enough to many people. A stronger person than she would have been able to cope with the onslaught of emotions working with Gregory House brought about. She had been managing well, until she realised just how deep her feelings for her boss went.

House's next question surprised her.

"Why?" The question hit her like a shot. Surely he knew? Fortunately she didn't have to answer as he went on before she could think of anything to say. "Is this another noble, self-sacrificing gesture? Trying to protect Foreman?"

God, why was he always trying to analyse her? "No."

"So this is just, 'Don't fire me, I quit.'"

"I'm protecting myself. You asked me why I like you," Cameron forced herself to maintain eye contact and once the words started to come out of her mouth, it was easier. "You're abrasive and rude but I figured everything you do, you do it to help people. But I was wrong. You do it because it's right."

She stopped to control herself, to make sure she wouldn't burst into tears. She put out her hand, wanting to shake his hand to make herself feel more like adult and not a tearful child. She could have handled it, if only he had taken her hand and made it okay for her to do what she was trying to do. He didn't. She dropped her hand back to her side.

The tears were thick in her voice, but she didn't let them fall. "There are only two ways I can deal with things. One is in my control. That's to leave. Goodbye, House."

She couldn't look at him anymore. She turned to leave and the moment the door closed behind her, shutting her out in the night, she allowed her feet to carry her faster, almost running to her car before she could turn back.

Job done. Easy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I do not own House M.D. or its characters.

_Thanks for all the reviews to the last chapter. This story is now going to have four chapters, the next of which should be up in a few days.  
_

_Jenny._

Not So Easy.

Chapter 2.

Cameron kept her breaths steady as she ran. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out.

The numbers on the treadmill display kept rising and she kept running. It always helped her think. After all, she had done her best thinking while with House, and that had been just like running on a treadmill. She had been running to keep still, running towards an unknown goal, running for the sake of running.

It had been four days since that night at House's and the pull of the phone was almost irresistible. Her eyes fell on it as she kept running. She had lost count of how many times she had picked up the receiver only to replace it moments later. She couldn't call House. She couldn't call the hospital at all. Maybe Cuddy would be able to offer her another position in the hospital if she called her, but Cameron needed a clean break.

As she stared at it, the phone began to ring and she jumped in surprise. She was off the treadmill before she was aware of it and half way across the room before realising it was a ridiculous hope to think it would be House calling to ask her back. She reached the phone and felt a guilty disappointment when the caller ID told her it was her mother calling from Nebraska.

"Hi, Mom," she said into the mouthpiece once she had steadied her breath enough to be understood.

"Allison, honey," Susanne Cameron's tone was bright and Cameron felt her body relax at the familiar sound. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, Mom. What's going on?"

"Just wondering how you are, sweetheart. Does there have to be a reason for me to call my only daughter? You act as if you aren't pleased to hear from me. You know, it's been almost a month since we last spoke."

_Only a mother has the power_, thought Cameron, _to make someone feel this guilty, this fast_. She was suddenly remembering all the late nights her job had necessitated, all the missed family gatherings, the unreturned phone calls and the ones cut short by the demands of being employed by Gregory House.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I'm alright, really. How is everything back home?"

"Everything is wonderful, honey. Your father and I are both well. We booked a trip to Europe just the other day."

"That sounds great," Cameron smiled. Maybe nobody else had the power to feel guilty like her mother, but nobody could make her feel better, either. Just the sound of the older woman's voice cheered Cameron up.

"And your brother and Natalie are coming up to visit at the weekend. It's been so long since your brother came home. Not as long as it's been since _you _came home, of course, but still far too long. I don't blame him," Susanne rushed to add. "He's a very important businessman, after all, but it _is _great to have him come and see us. And Natalie, of course. You know she's very important to us."

At this, Cameron's smile spread into a wide grin. She knew full well what her parents' opinion of Natalie was when Christopher had introduced her to them. Natalie was as friendly as anything, but an unemployed music student eight years Christopher's junior wasn't exactly the type they had imagined for their son. Once it had become clear, however, that Christopher was crazy about Natalie and she wasn't going anywhere, Susanne and Mark had been forced to modify their position to stay on good terms with their son. It was a tentative arrangement.

"Of course," Cameron was unable to completely keep the laugh out of her voice, but her mother ignored it.

"He's been promoted, you know. Did he tell you?"

"No," Cameron was unsurprised at Christopher's not telling her. They had never been close siblings. "I'll call him later on to congratulate him."

"Thank you. I'm sure that will mean a lot." Cameron was sure it wouldn't. "How about you, honey? How's work?"

"Oh... er..." Caught out, Cameron stared at the phone table as if it had written upon it the answer she was supposed to give her mother. Susanne already worried too much without finding out her daughter was unemployed. The surface of the table remained stubbornly blank as always. Cameron cursed her upbringing and morals and sighed before telling her mother the truth. "Actually, Mom, I'm not working at the hospital anymore."

"What? I don't understand. When did this happen?"

"I quit on Friday. It was time, I think."

"But I thought you loved that job. Honey, are you sure you weren't fired?"

"No. I quit, Mom. It was just... there were some issues that couldn't be resolved. It was better for me to go."

Susanne sighed, exasperated. "So now you're unemployed. What _happened_?"

"I told you, there were complications and a number of factors that influenced my decision and after a lot of thought I decided it would be best to move on. It will be fine, Mom, I thought it through and this is the best thing for me, I really think it is," Cameron knew she was babbling and forced herself to stop. Telling someone that she had left her job made it more real, and she was beginning to panic at the thought of what she would do next.

"Oh, Allison," Susanne's voice had switched to pitying. "Who did you fall in love with?"

"I... what?" Cameron was taken aback. Apparently her mother knew her better than she had thought.

"I said-"

"I heard. Why would you come to that conclusion?"

"I know you, darling. So come on. Who? The Australian man you've mentioned?"

"Chase? No, I'm not in love with him." Too late, Cameron realised that this could be taken as admittance that there _was _someone.

"Foreman?"

"House." The one word fell easily out of Cameron's mouth but she could imagine how difficult its implications would be to absorb at the other end of the line.

One.

Two.

Three.

"Your boss! God, Allison, I thought you had more sense than that. A co-worker would be bad enough, but why would you allow yourself to become infatuated with someone who has so much control over your career? Do you know how unprofessional this makes you look?" Susanne exhaled loudly and Cameron could hear her taking deep, steadying breaths to calm herself.

"Allison, I know it's probably not what you want to hear, but you must know how much this could jeopardise your career."

"I know, Mom. I do know, I swear. But House is the only one who knows, and he wouldn't tell anyone else."

This wasn't strictly the truth but the only person Cameron could imagine House telling was Wilson, and then only if pushed for a reason why she had left and all his other excuses had fallen flat. Chase and Foreman would be deterred easily with a flippant remark, too scared to question House too much. House wouldn't be comfortable talking about feelings, his or anyone else's. "And I already have an interview lined up for twelve today. At Jefferson. My career isn't over."

"Oh. Well good luck, honey," Susanne still sounded concerned and Cameron spent the rest of the conversation trying to placate her mother so that when they hung up a few minutes later, Mrs Cameron sounded marginally more cheerful, even if not as happy as when she'd first rung.

Cameron didn't have time to think about it, though. She rushed for a shower and to get ready for her interview.

*

Cameron left the Jefferson hospital at quarter past one feeling hopeful. Doctor Yule had asked all the questions she had wished for and she felt satisfied with her answers. Mostly he had wanted to know about House and her experiences working for him. When he had asked why she had left Princeton-Plainsboro, she hadn't known quite how to respond. 'Insurmountable difficulties' had come out of her mouth. Yule, clearly familiar with House, had nodded his understanding and hadn't asked her to elaborate. His easy acceptance of her answer had brought about a weird sense of defensiveness for House's character but she squashed it. The truth was that House was difficult and there was no point trying to argue that he wasn't. She would lose that argument every time.

*

When she got back to her apartment, the light on her answering machine was flashing. She pressed the play button as she walked to hang up her jacket.

"_Hey, Allison, it's Christopher. Listen, Mom called. She sounds worried. Er... call me back, okay? Talk to you soon."_

Another beep and a different male voice started to speak.

"_Cameron, it's Chase. I just wanted to know if you're okay. House isn't telling us what's going on and I was wondering if you were alright. Call me if you want to. I'd better go before House comes looking for me. We got a case and... sorry, just call me. Anytime you-"_

Chase's message cut off abruptly and if she had to guess, Cameron would think that he had been interrupted by House and had hung up before his boss could ascertain who he was calling. Never mind that breaking off in the middle of a sentence and hanging up would be far more suspicious than casually finishing off the conversation, House's sharp instincts would be able to read the situation and know what was going on.

Cameron sighed and sat on the couch to pull off her uncomfortable 'interview shoes.' To be honest, when she had quit her job she hadn't considered Chase and Foreman all that much. She didn't know what she would say to them if she spoke to them again. What if she had read House wrong? What if he told them the truth? Maybe it was her own insecurities as the only female in a testosterone filled department, but it already seemed to her they looked at her differently than they looked at each other. She had fallen in love with House. She couldn't help it but that didn't change the fact that her professionalism could be called into serious question as a result of those feelings.

Rubbing the feeling back into her feet she reached for the phone and dialled her brother's number from memory, thinking she might as well return his call while she remembered.

The phone rang five times before it was picked up in New York.

"Hello?" It was Natalie. "Hello?" She added a second time before Cameron could answer.

"Hi, Nat, it's Allison."

"Oh, hi, how are you? What have you been doing? Oh, sorry, I just remembered Christopher told me about your job. Are you alright? Wait... Christopher, I'm talking to her... wait a _minute_," Natalie said all in one breath and Cameron smiled at the young woman's effervescence.

"I'm fine, Natalie. How is everything in New York?"

"We're both great, Allison. Thanks... Oh _fine. _Look, Allison, it was good to see you but your brother's really wants to speak to you. I'll speak to you soon, okay? Christopher wants you."

Cameron heard the sounds of a phone being passed over and Natalie muttering something about childishness before her brother's deep strong voice came down the line.

"Allison."

"Hi, Christopher. Mom told me you'd been promoted. Congratulations."

"Thanks. But that's not what I wanted to speak to you about. Mom called me-"

"Yes, you said so on your message. I expected she would."

"Right," Christopher sounded uncomfortable and Cameron took pity on him.

"I'm okay. Mom's overreacting. I've had an interview today, it went really well and I'm hopeful. I appreciate that you're all worried about me but there's not need. My career isn't over just because I left one job."

"That's great. But Mom's more concerned about you leaving your job without having another one lined up. What if you don't get this job? You need to pay your bills."

Cameron felt her optimism fade a little. Maybe she didn't do as well at that interview as she thought. She should have mentioned the steep learning curve of working for House. She should've talked more about her internship at the Mayo Clinic. She swallowed down her panic and forced herself to answer.

"Like I said, I'm confident. And I have savings. If it comes to it, I can pay my bills out of them for a couple of months."

"That's what I told Mom. I knew you'd have savings but she still worried. And you know what Mom's worry is like- it's infectious. Sorry to pass it on to you, but we are just concerned about you."

"I know. Thank you. I do appreciate it. And congratulations again about the promotion."

"Thanks. It's a great opportunity for me."

Cameron smiled but Christopher's words had worried her. What if she _couldn't _get another job? She'd have to move back home for a while and it would be embarrassing to admit to her family that she had failed in New Jersey.

The rest of the conversation passed without incident and she hung up and collapsed backwards on the couch and closed her eyes.

It would have been so much easier if she hadn't fallen in love with her boss. She could have stayed at Princeton-Plainsboro, fought for her position in the department and tried her hardest, and if he had chosen to fire her, she would have known that she had tried. But she had fallen for him. And in the end she hadn't been able to force him to make that choice. She had left to spare him the need to choose and to spare herself a heart even more broken than it was already. If she went back to the way things were, it might break her.

Cameron sat up suddenly and reached for the remote control for something to do. She turned on the television, then settled herself back against the cushions with her legs curled underneath her, flipping through the channels and turning her mind to less troubling thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I don't own House M.D. or its characters.

_I'm sorry it's been so long. This chapter and the next have actually been sitting on my computer for a while waiting to be edited and then things got in the way. I will be uploading these last two chapters today. Hope you all have a good day._

_Jenny.  
_

Not So Easy.

Chapter 3.

Cameron stood in aisle three of the local supermarket and tried to remember if she had ever been given any advice about how to choose peppers. With a half filled shopping cart and a pepper in each hand she stood and closed her eyes. It had been so long since she had had the time to make a meal with vegetables that weren't pre-washed and packed. If nothing else unemployment had given her the opportunity to do that.

Surely someone had told her something about buying vegetables somewhere along the line. Even if it had been nobody she knew personally, maybe she had heard something when flicking past the food network during a channel-surfing session. She managed to draw up a vague image of a pristine kitchen with a smiling brunette holding up a few potatoes but beyond that her mind was drawing a blank. Finally, Cameron opened her eyes and dropped both of the green peppers into her cart. She'd decide which to use later.

Turning her cart around she checked the list she had balanced on top of the pile of food before her. Eggs, yoghurt and milk and then she could leave. She directed the cart towards the dairy section and – narrowly avoiding running the wheels over the fingers of a little boy sitting on the floor near his mother's legs - set off. Unfortunately, with nothing to concentrate on while she walked, she found herself once again considering recent events.

Leaving Jefferson hospital, she had been so hopeful, almost certain that she'd impressed Doctor Yule enough to secure the job. But it had been three days since her interview and hope was waning. They had said they needed someone to take the job soon so she thought she should have heard one way or the other by now. When she was interviewed by House he had told her she had the job that same day, before she left had even left the building. She had walked out of Princeton Plainsboro that day with a smile on her face and a fantastic job, unaware of the complications that job would bring. She missed that certainty in the future that she used to have. For someone who had known where she was going since she was eleven years old, any vagueness about her future was extremely unnerving.

Low-fat yoghurt went into the cart as she passed the shelf, picking up her favourite brand without slowing down. Milk was a little further down the same aisle and she picked up a pint with none of the indecision she had felt in the vegetable aisle. Eggs were next and she carefully situated them in the corner of the cart where they would not get broken by shifting items.

Maybe she could call Cuddy and see if there were other available jobs in the hospital. A few days ago she wouldn't have given the idea serious thought but a few days ago she had thought that she would get the job at Jefferson. She didn't want to go back on her word but... well, she needed a pay cheque soon.

She wouldn't go back to the Diagnostics department of course. For her own sake she needed to stay away from House. Unfortunately, knowing this did not make it any easier to do so.

House crept into her mind several times a day and often it would be a while before she even realised that she was thinking about him.

The simple truth was that she missed him. He was rude and sarcastic and managed to insult everyone around him multiple times a day but she loved him.

But even if she wanted to go back, her old position would probably be filled by now anyway.

Maybe he'd hired another young woman. Lobby art, as he'd once called Cameron. The feminist side of her had been angry at this assessment of her. She had hated to think that House believed that the only value she had in his department was as something to look at on those difficult days that seemed endless.

At the same time the she had been flattered, something that she would never admit out loud. She didn't consider being complimented on her looks a bad thing, especially when the remarks were coming from a handsome older man with eyes that made her feel as if she were burning from the inside out. She knew he was aware that there was more to her than a pretty face. She'd proved that time and time again and he would have fired her long ago if she had brought nothing to the department but her physical appearance.

Her chest had constricted when he had stared into her eyes and insisted that she was damaged in some way based on his assessment that she had worked harder than she had needed to. In the space of one conversation he had insulted her feminist side, flattered her feminine side, and acted like the most important thing to him at that moment was finding out everything about her .He had wanted to understand her. Maybe that conversation was when she had started to fall in love with him.

Cameron smiled as she joined the short checkout line. As irritating as he could be sometimes, the thought of Gregory House often had that effect on her. She was still smiling as she loaded her shopping onto the belt and moved forward in the queue.

"Good morning," the woman behind the cash register smiled at Cameron.

"Hi," Cameron replied as she moved to start packing her shopping into bags.

The checkout woman started humming as she scanned the items and the faint tune reminded Cameron of a song she had once heard drifting out of House's office into the conference room. Her hands stilled in their task as she remembered sitting and listening to the piano melody he had been listening to on his computer, watching him through the glass walls leaning back in his chair, head tilted upwards and eyes closed. It had always amazed her that anyone could find him joyless, as she had sometimes heard patients and others comment. You only had to watch him react to the things he loved to know that there was still joy in this world for him.

Whether it was strumming his guitar to The Rolling Stones or allowing a classical tune to ease the tension out of his frame, he enjoyed music more than anyone else she had ever known.

He loved to torture Cuddy and torment patients. He loved to avoid work almost as much as he loved actually doing his work and doing it well.

He loved his motorcycle. He loved spending time with Wilson. He loved solving the puzzle. How anyone could find him totally miserable was beyond her.

He loved all these things. Maybe he could love her.

"Are you alright?" The woman behind the counter – Cheryl, according to her name tag – was frowning in concern. Cameron realised she was stood perfectly still staring into space and shook herself.

"Yes, thanks, sorry," she said and forced herself back to the task at hand. One after another the items disappeared into shopping bags while Cameron's mind was miles away and before she knew it she had paid for her shopping and was out of the store walking to her car.

* * *

_"Doctor Cameron, this is Doctor Yule. I've reviewed your application and in light of your impressive interview earlier this week I would like to talk to you about offering you the job working in my department. Call me at my office as soon as possible to discuss the details. Congratulations."_

The recorded message gave way to silence as Cameron stood motionless with her four shopping bags gathered in her arms. She'd got the job. An instant fission of relief passed through her as she realised she now knew where her next pay cheque was coming from. And she could tell her mother to stop worrying.

So why, she wondered, was she still feeling a little disappointed that there was no longer any reason to ask Cuddy about free posts within Princeton-Plainsboro?

No. Yule was a good doctor. Jefferson was a good hospital. She would have new colleagues, a new start, and she would _not _fall in love with her boss. A solid plan to kick-start her life again. A new beginning was what she needed.

Oh, but she would miss him. Now that she had a new job, the realisation that she had no reason to see House again hit her like a punch to the stomach and she had to catch her breath.

She quickly set about removing all the items from the shopping bags and putting them away in cupboards before pulling out a stack of takeout menus from the cutlery drawer. Suddenly she wasn't in the mood to cook.

She placed the menus on the coffee table to choose from later on before picking up the phone and consulting the pad on the phone table before dialling Doctor Yule's extension.

When the older man's voice answered, Cameron injected her voice with the appropriate professional enthusiasm and quickly it was arranged that she would start work a week from Monday. Yule was friendly if a bit stiff and told her that he was looking forward to working with her with a sincere tone. She tried to imagine House's voice uttering the same sentiment without sarcasm and failed.

The conversation was short but when Cameron hung up her legs wobbled and she sat down quickly to stop herself falling over. All her energy seemed to have vanished in just a few minutes and she took several deep, steady breaths. This was a good thing. She had a job. Her future was back on track and her personal life would be much less complex very soon. Yule was an excellent doctor. Not as good Hou-

She cut off that thought before it had fully formed and leaned back into the cushions of the couch. She turned on the television, trying to remember what was usually showing on a Friday night.

The week before she had been getting ready for Vogler's presentation and House's speech, with no idea that by the time the night ended, she would be out of a job and it would have been her own decision. Now she settled into the couch, glad that the week of indecision was over and the blurry outline of her future was looking a little more solid. The channel changed to an old black and white movie and she placed the remote down on the arm of the chair, fixed her eyes on the screen and tried to focus her attention on the future rather than the twisting in her stomach.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I don't own House M.D. or its characters. The recognisable dialogue is from the episode 'Kids' in series one.

Not So Easy.

Chapter 4.

It was Monday morning - the week before she was due to start work at Jefferson hospital; nine days and twelve hours after she had walked out of House's apartment - when the knock came on the door.

She had been on the treadmill, jogging again, the rhythm of her feet pushing any but the most superficial worries clean out of her head. At first she thought she had imagined the sound of wood knocking on wood, but then it carried on. It continued until she had stepped off the treadmill, walked across the floor and pulled open the door where her eyes confirmed the sound of his cane knocking on the door. He stood, cane in hand, poised for another knock and she swallowed subtly at the sight of him before her. God, had she forgotten how blue his eyes were? She brought the yellow towel in her hand up to her mouth to hide her gasp. House let the cane drop before he spoke.

"I saw the light on."

Cameron shouldn't have been surprised, but she was. Just because she had been going crazy for the last week and a bit, didn't mean he had even thought of her at all since she left. She hadn't really expected him to.

"It's daytime." If he could be casual, so could she.

"Yeah, it's a figure of speech. Always so literal." Did she imagine the slight fondness in his tone as he said that?

Cameron sighed, already needing the few seconds it gave her to collect herself. Her eyes fell to the cane by his side.

"Got a new cane."

"Yeah. Guy in the store said it was slimming. Vertical stripe..." He allowed the sentence to trail off and Cameron sensed it was time they both addressed the elephant in the room.

"Why are you here?" Blunt, direct question. He should be proud.

"Vogler is dead."

A sharp shock in her chest. "What? What happened?" Cameron watched House leaning on the door frame waiting for an answer. He had seemed healthy enough. She might not have liked the guy but still, if somebody died, she was sorry for that.

"Again with the literal translation." Cameron relaxed at the words. At least no-one was dead. "Vogler, the idea," House clarified. "Mr. Destructo, Mr. Moneybags, bow down before me. He is gone from the hospital. Things can go back to the way they were." Okay, now Cameron _knew _she wasn't misreading the hope in his eyes, but she needed him to understand her position.

"The way they were was kind ofweird." Hands on her hips, she kept her eyes fixed on him, and was disappointed when he couldn't meet her eyes.

"Weird works for me," House said after a moment's hesitation. Cameron sighed again. She didn't want to jump to conclusions. He needed to be clearer. She had made herself perfectly clear to him so many times, now it was his turn.

"What are you saying? Literally."

"I want you to come back." So simple. And it was what she wanted, too. But she something inside of her held her back. Weird might work for him but she couldn't go back to the way things were.

"Why?" She wasn't even sure why she asked. Maybe to give herself time to think, but if she was hoping on some level for a declaration of his feelings, she was let down when his pager broke the moment. Her eyes flew to his pager and some reflex made her stiffen. The steady beeping automatically shifted her into doctor mode and she folded her arms.

"Please unclench. You're not on the clock and when you do that I clench and then it's this whole thing..."

"Could you look at your pager?"

House took it out of his belt and stared at the small screen.

"It's no big deal. Some sort of epidemic. Not my area." Cameron was ninety-nine per cent sure he understood that if the hospital was paging _him _it was a big deal but still she felt the need to urge him.

"You should go. It's important." The selfish side of her screamed at her not to let him go when it had been over a week since she had seen him and now finally, _finally,_ he was here, and looking at her with those intense eyes and her heart was beating so fast, and it had nothing to do with the treadmill....

"What I'm doing now is important."

"Why do you want me back?" She reminded herself that she hadn't yet got the answer she wanted.

"Because you're a good doctor."

"That's it?"

"That's not enough?"

"Not for me." She wished that were enough. It had been such a struggle to stay away so far and now that she knew he wanted her back, it was bound to become so much more difficult. Right now, she needed him to go and do his job, and she needed time to think and get her head together. Three minutes with House and she was all over the place. "Go deal with your plague." The anger and frustration at the whole situation came out in her tone and she fought to keep herself from slamming the door. Instead she closed it in his face and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes and leaning her head back. After a few seconds she heard his uneven footsteps walk away down the hall.

The nervous energy continued to build inside of her and she walked back over to the treadmill, stepping up and beginning to run. Her mind was full of the conversation with House. Why was she thinking about this? She had accepted a new job. She was going to work at Jefferson in a week. Then again, a fellowship with House was a coveted position and it would be great for her career if she went back to him. Not to mention all the things she'd learn...

She wasn't even fooling herself. She admitted that the main reason that she wanted to go back was for him. It wasn't good for her. But it was good for her career and she could be an adult, a professional. They all could.

On the other hand, she hadn't been lying when she said things weren't working for her.

Cameron turned the treadmill on higher and ran faster.

* * *

Cameron stepped out of the shower that afternoon a little clearer.

She wasn't fully committed to Yule so she had a choice. While the hope inside of her diminished slightly when House had said that he had wanted her back just because she was a good doctor but she refused to let it die completely. There were plenty of good doctors in New Jersey. But he had shown up at _her_ door, asking for her back. Her, specifically. There were plenty of good doctors who would be desperate for this job. Desperate enough to put up with his moods and his sarcastic, biting comments, and yet it was her door he had appeared at.

He would be back as soon as his 'plague' was over and it wouldn't be easy to make him go away again. If he had his way, she would return to Princeton Plainsboro and Cameron knew that if he pushed hard enough, she would give in. After all, it was House asking (or doing something that passed for it) and she would never be able to say no to House. As long as he didn't know that, she could negotiate the terms of her return.

She wouldn't ask for more respect. House being who he was, asking him to be more polite was like asking a dog if he could drive you to work. It wasn't going to happen and when he noticed that she wasn't walking out, despite his rudeness, it wouldn't take long for his brilliant mind to deduce she would stay no matter how he treated her.

A raise maybe? But it wasn't as if she needed it. Despite her brother's concerns she was living quite comfortably. Her old salary was more than sufficient for a single woman living alone.

She could ask for fewer clinic hours. Cuddy would need to agree to that condition. Although Cameron had no doubt that if House pestered her long enough, the Dean of Medicine would give in to get some peace, Cameron honestly didn't mind clinic duty all that much. She didn't tell House that, or she'd have ended up doing all his hours as well, and she didn't like it _that _much. Anyway, she wouldn't feel comfortable with the preferential treatment. She'd rather her co-workers didn't hate her.

She knew what it was she _wanted_ to ask for, but House would never agree to it.

When it came down to it, she wantedto go back to him but she didn't need to. She had another job, a perfectly respectable job, lined up at Jefferson.

House had come to her, not the other way around. It might be that he genuinely missed her, it might be that he just didn't want to go through the painstaking business of interviewing all those prospective fellows, but he had come to her. She had the power, if only for a brief moment. As much as she wanted to go back to Princeton-Plainsboro and in particular Gregory House, it would hurt to return to the status quo. She had to ask. She had to try.

She would ask him.

* * *

When the knock came again that night, she was ready. She closed her book immediately, getting up to open the door. She took a deep breath to prepare herself before twisting the knob and swinging the door open.

"I don't want to interview anyone else."

"You're interviewing? I thought you'd just have them send a headshot along with their CV." Her hair tickled her shoulders and she resisted the urge to push it back or play with it like a teenage girl.

House gave a small, fake laugh. "That's good." Cameron was pleased that he looked like he meant it. "And why I need you around. To keep me in my place."

When House leaned forward and tried to look behind her into her apartment, Cameron closed the door a little so that she was blocking his view and he had no choice but to look at her.

"I can't come back. I told you that." She wanted to. But she couldn't accept going back to the way things were.

"I wasn't listening."

"Right." She leaned forwards, a smile on her face. Maybe he would get the point now. She needed him to try harder. To give her more.

"You want me to listen to you more? I can do that."

Cameron inhaled sadly. It looked like he would never offer what she really wanted of his own accord. It really was best to leave him.

"Right. I already accepted a position somewhere else."

The look in his eyes took her breath away. Staring at her, unblinking, she read more in his eyes in that moment than he had ever let her see before. He was trying to catch her in a lie, wanting to believe she was lying to him to protect herself. He was worried that she thought she had found something better. He was, for the first time, scared that she would not return just because he asked her to.

"With who?"

"Yule. At Jefferson."

"Unaccept it," House said easily, as though it was that simple.

"Why?"

House swallowed and Cameron waited.

"Because Yule is boring. He's pedantic and preachy. Because he's short." Cameron laughed humourlessly and looked away, as the last pieces of hope began to fall away. "Because I want you to come back."

Cameron straightened, slightly more heartened and realising that with nothing else to lose, she might as well tell him exactly what she wanted. He would never offer it otherwise.

"Not good enough."

"Want more money? A car allowance? Better parking space?" His breathing was shaky, like he anticipated what she was hinting at but was reluctant to face it.

"Dinner," Cameron said with a smile on her face. "And not just a meal between two colleagues. A date." She forced herself to stay silent after that and let him absorb it.

House was looking at her with disbelief and something else that she couldn't quite put her finger on. Whatever it was, the intensity of it sent a flush of heat through her body and she had to force herself not to blink and look away. She'd dreamed of having House look at her that way, what was wrong with her now?

It seemed like an eternity passed around their motionless bodies before he spoke.

"You'll come back to work if I go out on a date with you?"

God, it sounded so juvenile when he said it. And he had stressed the word 'date' like it was a curse word. No matter how he said it though, that was the long and short of her request.

"Yes."

The handshake they exchanged seemed oddly formal following their agreement but no other gesture would fit in the silence either. Something was changing between them and it would never be quite the same.

...Good.


End file.
